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Post by aka Kizza on Sept 8, 2010 20:30:18 GMT -5
I'm the only one who's not creative at making jokes and I don't know any good jokes ffs  google search jokes |
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Post by justjackyl on Sept 8, 2010 22:09:46 GMT -5
I'm the only one who's not creative at making jokes and I don't know any good jokes ffs google search jokes cheating!! What did the alien say to the flower? Take me to your weeder. |
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Post by aka Kizza on Sept 9, 2010 6:25:37 GMT -5
what do u call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHHHHHH
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Post by Creamy_Mayo on Sept 9, 2010 7:02:51 GMT -5
How do you make a baby float.......Take your foot off its head  ;D |
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Post by aka Kizza on Sept 9, 2010 9:58:22 GMT -5
How do you make a baby float.......Take your foot off its head ;D for someone who's just had a baby, it's disturbing that you like the sick baby jokes. PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY! |
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Post by Creamy_Mayo on Sept 9, 2010 16:12:28 GMT -5
Ya know...i've thought the same thing but some of em are accually quite funny, at least to me  |
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Post by thjunglelove on Sept 19, 2010 10:01:39 GMT -5
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a Hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, 'Do you have a condom?' Donald frowned and said, 'No.' Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. 'Maybe they sell them at the front desk,' she suggested. So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms. 'Yes, we do,' the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, 'Would you like me to put them on your bill? 'Thit No!' Donald quacked, I'll thuffocate  Now you Know! |
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Post by justjackyl on Oct 6, 2010 5:26:09 GMT -5
3ill men go to see the doctor. Ones an alcoholic, ones a smoker, and ones a sex addict.
The doctor tells all 3 men that if they engage in their vices even ONE MORE TIME, they will drop dead.
So the 3 men are walking home and pass a bar, the alcoholic goes in and orders a shot, drinks the shot, and instantly drops dead. The other 2 men, shaken up, leave the bar. As they continue their walk home they see a lit cigarette on the ground. The sex addicts says to the smoker, "if you bend over to pick that up we're both dead."
;D
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Post by scoperfin on Oct 6, 2010 12:32:44 GMT -5
lol that's nasty yet funny
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Post by aka Kizza on Nov 5, 2010 10:27:05 GMT -5
A guy was walking down the road in front of me, with his legs well apart.
I said, "Hey mate, if you've shit yourself, you should at least keep your gait as normal as possible, so others don't notice".
He turned to me and said, "I haven't fucking finished yet!"
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Post by aka Kizza on Nov 8, 2010 9:04:07 GMT -5
Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of
tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.
The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping
through photos and they start reminiscing.
'This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now.'
'Yes, I remember him as a baby' says the other mother cheerfully.
'He's a martyr now though' mum confides.
'Oh, so sad dear' says the other.
'And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21'
'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily, 'he had such curly hair when
he was born'. '
'He's a martyr too' says mum quietly.
'Oh, gracious me ...' says the other.
'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18,' she
whispers.
'Yes' says the friend enthusiastically, 'I remember when he first started
school'
'He's a martyr also,' says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at
the photographs and says...
'They blow up so fast, don't they?'
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Post by scoperfin on Nov 9, 2010 10:31:48 GMT -5
Harsh, a bit random too but funny.  |
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Post by thjunglelove on Dec 31, 2010 10:53:58 GMT -5
Tyrone applied for a fork lift operator job at a famous firm based in Detroit. A white man applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no supervision by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20. The manager went to Tyrone and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the other guy the job." Tyrone, "And why would you be doing that, are you a racist? We both got 19 questions right? This being Detroit and me being black - I should get the job." Manager, " We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong." Tyrone said, " Tell me now, how would one wrong answer be better than another?" Manager, " Simple. On question number 7 the other guy wrote down, 'I don’t know.' You put down, ‘Neither do I’. |
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Post by thjunglelove on Dec 31, 2010 10:56:30 GMT -5
A guy cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman. The guy hands the policeman his driver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit. "Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?" "Yes, I am." "Well then, better tell me what you got." Mr. Smith says, "Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There's a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, I've got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot." "Okay," the policeman says. "Anything else?" "Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR15 and a shotgun. That's about it." "Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?" "Nope." "Well then, what are you afraid of...?" "Not a ****ing thing..." |
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Post by scoperfin on Jan 4, 2011 12:35:38 GMT -5
Lol nice ones
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;D
